ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
