There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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