So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Even my vagina gasped.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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