Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
