Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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