the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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