i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize