i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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