Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
