No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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