OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
