just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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