Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
