Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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