I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Drunk is a universal language darling
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