Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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