I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize