R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
