im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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