508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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