i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.