I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame