just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!