if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
