Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
