peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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