:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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