I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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