i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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