if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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