pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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