Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
