so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
