You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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