I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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