Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
