I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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