i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
