On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
