before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
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I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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