Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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