You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize