Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
