Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
