Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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