No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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