That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
