So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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