This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
