There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
