Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.