Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Terrible idea I love it