PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.