she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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