it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
