So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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