He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
