If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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